Compromise….

It was the word I uttered during yesterday’s lunch and which made me step into the start of the new life which I’m about to fall in the upcoming month. I had been seeing a lot of changes in me which others could also clearly notice but whether is it enough to be ready for it is still unknown. In event of changing myself, one of the biggest things was that I started talking a lot, and I mean a lot than I usually would. Because of the very less experience outdoors, I started to blabber a lot of things which I shouldn’t say. Without knowing, I started to hurt a lot of people especially my dear friends. I might have lost the trust and respect people would have had on me and also got myself into several irreversible troubles and mistakes. With that in mind, I’m now going to try stabilizing myself and try to talk anything after thinking at least 10 times, just like I would write on my blog.

The following contents of this post will be pure non-sense, so do not read it unless you have absolutely no other work better to do on this lovely planet:

One of the difficult things to understand is when my friends are actually serious and when are just playing for fun. Although, I thought I had learnt a lot from Chetna, Ishwarya, Sri and Vishnu playful fights we have every evening after leaving office, I guess its not enough. For example, one day, Chetna had cancelled my friendship along with others for absolutely no reason as I didn’t do anything against her and has still not taken it back. Ishwarya and Sri randomly decide to stop talking with me finding some minor reason, (but Sri always talks to me). And I take all of this for fun although it hurts a twincy-wincy bit. When I start to talk, I blabber something completely stupid thinking that it would be comedic, but it would actually hurt others unless others notify about that or when I see the look on my friend’s face.

When I start to realize what I had done, I become sort of silent when I’m thinking about it and I guess that silence is too noisy that it actually turns everyone’s attention towards me. The situation is like this. My friends are so great and so cool, that they are like shiny beautiful shoes. I love those shoes and I wish to have it. The thing is that it’s bigger for me and I couldn’t fit in. So I try something stupid like wearing a lot of socks over an another, just so my feet looks bigger and make myself look like a clown or I try to make the shoe become smaller which in turn hurts and damages it. Well I couldn’t expect to get another one which looks the same and the only way to get those shoes is to grow up. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. With some help from Sri and a little help from Nithin anna I think, I can grow faster to adapt to how I should behave and act.

My primary objectives have already failed and all I can look upon now are the secondary ones. With my quest for friends are over at least for now, I think its time to let others explore about me. Yes, stalkers! I’m talking about you. Good or evil, I’ve always liked you guys for the interest you are showing in me as you read my blog without myself giving you the URL. Although I have three best friends here, I still wish I had a dedicated friend who is interested to know about me, my mission, my skills and accompany me to achieve something that can change the world into a better place.

Having locked down to a PC, which takes about half a minute to copy a file when I press Ctrl+C, with no admin rights to install my favorite productivity tools and the one flooded with viruses, I’m made to work at one tenth of my potential. Although I wish to do more for my company, and innovate a lot of new things, I’m desperately out of resources which slows down my ability to perform. I miss my monstrous i7 Extreme PC and my beautiful high-end 15” MacBook Pro, which had always been with me in my successful times. I wonder why am I even telling this here :-/ .

In spite of warning you, you read all this for nothing. As from my experience, this is the worst post I had ever written. And I’m publishing it just for the sake of my remembrance. If you wish to be a part of it, comment your thoughts below.